Dump Now or Until February 20 Hold Your Peace

For some insane reason (read: Whoopi), I’m a big fan of The View, and they just commented on an article about how you can’t break up with your Significant Other between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day because it’s exceptionally cruel. It made me giggle…I often find myself in an “agony aunt” position with my male clients, and in the last 6 weeks have dispensed exactly this advice to three of them. I don’t think one of them has the wherewithall to do it, but I’m hopeful for the other two. Aside from the obvious misery you save yourself from kissing in the New Year with someone you don’t want to be with, my best argument – which comes across as more light-hearted than mercenary, I swear! – is on a semi-financial level…

Obviously, there’s the money saved on pricey Christmas gifts and the usual Valentine’s flowers-dinner-jewelry/lingerie rigamarole. But it’s not just unspent money – it’s unwasted money. No one wants those things hanging around, reminding them of disappointment and heartbreak. You might as well set fire to your wallet. And you can’t get them a dramatically cheaper gift than you normally do because then we know (well, girls do) and Christmas morning is ruined. As for Valentine’s Day, even the out-of-love fellas don’t like the idea of giving their soon-to-be Insignificant Other pretty lingerie for her to wear for their replacement.

So even if I didn’t convince them to break it off before the holidays, I’m quite sure I got them to rethink their gift-giving strategy. Better to buy that person a day spa package or an “experience” (e.g. ballooning, race car driving, etc) than a Thing they will gaze upon with anger and melancholy. 

All of this also reminded me of an acquaintance in Scotland (I know, I know…just supporting a stereotype here). He would dump his girlfriend a week before her birthday and Christmas, then reunite a week after in order to avoid having to buy her any presents. In a generous moment, I’d label this behavior “viciously frugal”.

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One Response

  1. That guy from Scotland, wow what a piece of work. And the girl, she’d take him back? I think it’s interesting your male clients spill the beans with you, so many guys won’t talk about relationship issues. You should add therapist to your resume.

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