Preface: I am a terrible public speaker, and have been since my first attempt as a sophomore in high school. I tried to knock that on the head in the late 90s by becoming an English language teacher but never made any significant progress.
This morning I attended that business networking breakfast I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, and it went worse than anticipated. I now have way too much in common with our former president…
First, I couldn’t fall asleep last night and even resorted to melatonin and NyQuil around 2:30am. Second, I got a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease while actually speaking. I should have scripted. But the best part, the thing that puts me in the same class as the ex-prez, is that in my attempts to make a beeline for the exit, I was thwarted by the door. I pushed and it didn’t open. I noted the hinges on my side and searched for a handle – none. I actually clawed at a flush pane of glass until I found enough purchase to coax the door open.
Of course, I didn’t manage to make my escape before a pushy knife salesman had a chance to corner me. He wants to barter, but in a way that would still involve me paying for his products. Screw that.
I called my mother on the walk home afterwards to inform her that I hadn’t outgrown my stagefright. She has some not-so-fond memories of be being violently ill the night before class presentations all through high school. Her response: “At least no one threw a shoe at you.”