Indecent Proposal, Part 2: I couldn’t walk the walk

It turns out that, despite having given the subject of one-shot, unsought sex-for-money a fair amount of philosophical debate over the years, I was wrong about my price. It turns out I don’t have one.

A dying man (someone I’ve known for years and was once attracted to) offered my hypothetical price to essentially be his girlfriend until his brain tumor took him. This is someone I care about from a distance, someone who appreciates that I don’t use a “sympathetic voice” when talking to him and treat him no differently than before the diagnosis. I automatically declined, which he’d expected but hoped he was wrong.

But then I *did* think about it. Half a million dollars for an almost-40 chubby chick like me? Now there’s an offer I won’t get twice. I told him he could buy himself a little blonde college hottie for half that – but no, he wants me. Half a million … that’s a big ol’ retirement plan, it’s a paid-in-full home, it’s a world of possibilities.

This is truly my one shot at this kind of money.
And I’m not taking it. I just…can’t.
I am a disappointment to myself.

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14 Responses

  1. Wow! I don’t know what I would do in that situation…

  2. Oh, this is so much more than just the hypothetical lay. Dealing with his decline and all that would entail–physically, emotionally? And just how sad the arrangement ultimately would be? Good god no. Oy.

    I’m so sorry for your friend.

  3. As much as you care for this man, I don’t think it needs to be shown in this particular way. Yikes! I wish your friend the best of health.

  4. I agree with ConsciouslyFrugal. This arrangement goes beyond a one-night stand with a stranger. The emotional toll it would’ve taken on you would cost more than the money offered. You made the right decision.

    • Actually, I think half a mil would go a long way towards making up for the emotional toll it would take. I always saw that as the real thing he’d have been paying for.

  5. I don’t get why you’re disappointed in yourself over this.

    From everything I’ve read on your blog, you aren’t someone who likes to use people and you aren’t someone who thinks more highly of people simply because they’re wealthy.

    When you found out that your rates were lower than your friend’s awhile back, you didn’t try to trick her into sending more people your way so that you could steal her clients. You spend a considerable amount of time pursuing bargains to give to the less fortunate, instead of putting that energy into trying to cultivate swanky friends. You’re undoubtedly physically and mentally capable of doing work that would earn more, but you’ve chosen a job and a lifestyle that suits you and your values.

    To me, your most recent choice seems like more of the same. You value people and yourself differently from how you value money. Would you rather be someone who judges others based on the size of their bank account?

    • I guess I thought I put a higher value on financial security than I actually do.

      Thanks for the glowing summary of my character!

  6. I gonna toss a coin to the otherside of this offer.

    Let’s see, you’re: Single with a gutsy attitude (single, right?).

    Him: The man want sclearly more than a physical relationship (although that may be included). He wants someone , a friend, who will be there… be able to handle taking the journey to his death.

    I think you could do it. Clearly, you both know the guidelines. You are two consenting adults. And he seems to have a clear definition of where he wants the money to go. I don’t see how you are losing values over this.

    I would rather pay someone important to me to stand by my side and be my friend/companion until I die.

    • It is 100% the sex part I can’t handle. Everything else, I’ve got the emotional fortitude to handle.

  7. Am I strange for thinking, gee I hope he does find somone to make him happy in his final time? It sounds like there is no significant other in the picture, and that he wants companionship. But, that doesn’t mean the companion has to be you! It may also be that you know him, as opposed to random stranger sex. I wish him well.

    • I want him to have someone, and I know he wants me because (a) he’s had a thing for me for years…when he dropped out of touch, I lost interest because of his obvious loss of interest – the diagnosis did not put me off, and (b) I genuinely care about him. It looks like the tumor is starting to really kick in this past week too – I’m worried about him, living alone, having petit mal seizures (space-outs) and blind spells.

  8. you should totally do it but think about it in this way – its someone you already care about who you would help for free anyway, and hey if he wants to leave you money in his will, that’s ok too!

  9. wow….that’s a tough choice. I’d like to think that if I were single, I’d have the strength to do something like that. But I probably wouldn’t be able to, and it’d be the sex part for me too. I think, anyway.

    I’m sorry for your friend. I hope you can still be there for him as best you can until the end.

  10. Wooo–ooowww… it might be better for him to make the offer for companionship sans sex because I don’t see you changing your mind. And this is going to be way tough for him, he shouldn’t be alone for it. Not that my thinking it is going to put the thought in his head.

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