2011 in Review: Too much uncertainty

I definitely lead an unconventional life and have a higher tolerance for change than most (especially given how long-in-the-tooth I am now), but it has definitely been a rough year. I’ve recently picked up on reading Chris Gillebeau’s blog, which does a great job of making me think constructively while also reminding me of how travel has always fed my soul. Anyway, he does a very in-depth annual review at the end of each year, and the first step is listing what went right and what went wrong. Know what really stands out? That I have another category with about as many things in it: the “Jury is Still Out” column. It’s not that I’m leaving room for a silver lining to appear – I just truly don’t know if these things are good or bad yet. So…here it goes.

What went RIGHT in 2011

– I enacted my plan to become a Ro1fer, completing 2 of the 3 units with greater openness and progress than anticipated.
– Found my own niche and secret to success at my phone job, including a stream of passive income.
– Underwent some intensive hypnotherapy to deal with some pretty old stuff and despite my skepticism, it has helped phenomenally. And I found a way to pay for it without it costing anything out of my pocket!
– My support network in times of stress has expanded.
– I have lost and kept off 20 lbs (probably more like 15 with the holidays…sigh).
– I made 2 new friends, which pretty much doubles my total. And it turns out my friendship means more to a few of them than I realized.

What went WRONG in 2011

– Got expelled from the third and final part of my Ro1f training. I’m allowed to try again, but I’m very worried about a hidden agenda and lack of student support. I am prepared to hire a civil rights lawyer if I am blocked from taking the March course.
– I had to deal with bedbugs and a lazy-cheap extermination plan that took 8 weeks to work. It overlapped with the second part of my training course, and I had to keep that stress entirely to myself.
– My best friend since 1988 cut me out of her life two days after I got expelled. She did this once before, a few months after my father died. I don’t think she realized how hard it was for me to be friends again two years later. The likelihood of being friends again is negligible.
– I may weigh less than I did a year ago but I do not have a good grip on this aspect of my health.

The Jury Is Still Out

– I left NYC in April. I think it was right at the time, but now I feel like I’m being kept away. I hate this place and love it at the same time, and as long as I’m living in this country, this is where I come closest to ‘belonging’…in a city full of sharks and misfits. My two visits since moving away have been eye-opening. Damn, why does it have to be the highest-rent locale on the planet??
– I have a roommate who is very optimistic and calm, but whose life is rather full of drama. On the one hand there’s her psycho ex-to-be who got her fired from her job and repossessed her car. On the other, there’s her utter lack of depression or even a tendency to wallow.
– Last week I *think* I had an offer of a semi-relationship – the first such offer from an unattached man in a decade. I don’t know what to make of his motives, but if it’s a real offer and still available in May (which was certainly his indicated timeframe), I’m going to take it.
– I shortened my trip to Africa from 7 weeks to 4 and coughed up $350 for the ticket change to make the March course at the institute happen. Of course, I could get excluded from that by the powertripping teacher and I’m not due back until 6 days before the course starts. I can see it now…me on the Serengeti borrowing my brother’s satellite phone to hire a free speech lawyer.
– I ditched my health insurance.