Couponing: I am NOT a hoarder!

Okay first off – the word “hoarder” now seems to mean filthy lazy disturbed people with a house full of animal skeletons thanks to that TV show. I think of a hoarder as more of an extreme pack rat/collector – much clutter but no filth. Like my grandmother and her as-seen-on-TV habit that resulted in more knives and chia pets and cosmetic collections than I could count.

I just watched a few clips of “Extreme Couponing” and – these people are hoarders!! At least the ones I saw in the clips – like the guy with 1000 bottles of shower gel and a garage that looks like a grocery store with aisles and shelves and all that. And the woman buying 200 bottles of gatorade and 150 Butterfingers – she spent $70 on coupons to buy $1000 worth of questionably useful stuff. In the clip it looks like it’s just her and her husband – so $70 is what they’d normally spend on a decent grocery order every week anyway. Essentially no money is saved and while they get $1000 worth of good for that $70, none of it is what they would choose if coupons didn’t exist. Well…except maybe the Butterfingers. Mmm…

If I’m not mistaken, most of these people keep all of their coupon booty, and that’s the part I don’t understand. You all know I love a great deal and will do it in multiples – because it’s kind of a rush walking out with $50 of good-quality goodies for about 50 cents plus sales tax. But even if my apartment wasn’t a studio, I would not accumulate like that.

When I went through that bedbug nightmare about 17 months ago, I was very embarrassed to see how big my drug store stockpiles had gotten. I didn’t want my assorted Broke Folks to ask me for something I didn’t have – but did I really need three big clear plastic garbage bags full of razors, deodorant, shampoo, soap, pads, etc? I gave away 2 bags’ worth within 3 days.

So in a few weeks I’m moving into a real grown-up apartment with three rooms where right now there’s just one – and not a stick of furniture. I’ll be within a 7-minute walk of a Safeway (good coupon supermarket), a Rite Aid and a Walgreens (and a medical marijuana dispensary…just sayin’). And I will NOT be turning my new place into a mini-mart. This I promise. Even though I’m not sure what use I’ll have for that dining room…

Photo by Bidgee via Wiki Commons